Strange policies on laptops

I never thought I would be working on a laptop that has no CDROM access, no floppy access, no USB port, Infra red port denied. Gosh! This is so sick. After working on a laptop for more than 16 months I have to forgo the said benefits.
Why?
Company policy, of course! Can’t I understand it’s a matter of data and information security!

If you think I work for a company, which is into defence or which handles highly confidential matters than, that’s completely absurd. Our company is just similar to many of the MNC operating in India. Actually it’s not similar, what am I saying? How can it be similar?

Firstly, they provide low-end laptops, which are bulky and heavier, but cheapest in price. I already have a back pain carrying it all the way to my home and back. (Almost 25kms one side)
Then, they expect to us to work during any time of the day because we have a laptop.
Then, they deny all the access to CDROM etc etc…This is the most disgusting thing, I can’t watch movies, play games, download exe file as no administrator’s right, transfer photos from mobile phone.

Then what I’m supposed to do.
Work on my excel sheets that’s it. Laptop is not given for personal purpose; it’s for strictly official purpose, why I’m failing to understand that.
But then if that’s the truth, let me work only during official time of 9 to 5, why slaughtering my personal time with official work.

This gruesome news has definitely disappointed me to the core. If someone wants to do some fraud, he will do it in spite of all the precautions, else give someone all the freedom and he will know the restrictions. It’s a matter of integrity.

But I still fail to understand what these companies policy are for. I feel it means, heads they win, tails we loose.

Disturbing phone talks

How will you feel while working at your desk, someone is leaning at your cubicle and talking over the phone? Moreover he and his conversation has nothing to do with your work. I feel like saying “Get the hell out of here!”, this place is not an f**k**g booth where u can rest your ass and talk.

At times people are so cold and obnoxious that they don’t even realise that their actions are actually bothering and troubling others. This happens with me most of the time. My cubicle is situated at a very lively place. One has to pass by it, if one has to go to the cafeteria or nature’s call or to our NOC server.
So people keep passing by it throughout the day, but there are some who very impudently stand in front of me talking over their mobiles. Of course they have official talk, but god damn it! There is a desk and chair provided to them.

Most of the time they are my seniors and I have to interact with them regularly, so can’t risk saying them to get lost. It’s disgusting especially if I’m engrossed in something and these buggers start talking over phone.

I seriously wonder why common sense is so uncommon!

Traffic police never gonna improve.

When one gets late and sees a red signal, the fist thought that comes is “Mamu khada hain kya”. (is traffic police standing there). Most of the time he is not.

Today surprisingly on Andheri flyover, I saw a team of traffic police with speed gun, checking if the vehicles are exceeding the prescribed speed limit. What a time they choose, 9.30 to 10.30, when most of us are running late for our offices. I was driving well within the speed so I didn’t have any issues but I saw couple of cars being caught by them in front of me.

What the hell! During mornings, when driving on the opposite direction to traffic, the highways are almost empty. Most of the time in city there is horrible traffic; it’s only on the highway one gets to patch up for the lost time in traffic. Actually that’s the only place where the vehicle is driven other wise its dragged. But these guys are there to spoil the morning and morning drive. I don’t find a reason why one should be stopped if he is marginally more than the speed limit, unless some one is driving really rash. But how will they chase and catch the one driving rash. They wont be able to catch me if they happen to chase me, forget about catching the real rash bike riders or car drivers.

On the contrary, one can hardly locate a traffic police if there is a traffic jam. If for god’s sake they are present, they wont be doing anything to ease away the jam. The only moment they are active is when they have to catch someone jumping signals or when they have to stop the over loaded trucks. That helps them to pocket some additional money.

One of the most inefficient government departments is traffic police. Actually they are not inefficient, they don’t work unless they get something down the table. (Why “upar ki kamai” is called down the table?) Ever been to RTO office to get the driving license. Try to get a driving license on your own, without the help of driving school or using agents. If you do it, it’s really an achievement.

I read an article somewhere that the annual “down the table” income of traffic police all over India is more than Rs.1 billion. This is shared right from the hawaldar on roads to minister throwing chappals in parliament. That’s a huge amount flowing as black money.

In my 2 yrs of driving in Mumbai, I’ve paid 4 times for jumping signal, once for talking on mobile while driving and once for not wearing a seat belt. That’s pretty decent statistics for me. Now I exactly know which signals to jump. But one should be extremely careful during month and year-ends. Even they have to achieve their year-end targets ;-)

Formal dressing on Sunday

After 5 days of formal dressing, if one ask me to dress similarly on a weekend, I’ll say, “Forget it”. If I happen to work on Saturdays’ then the dress code is jeans and t-shirt. So it’s a strict no no to formal dressing during weekends.

On some Sundays I need to attend a study circle meet, which is organised by our Institute and its compulsory for the CAs’ to be present there. Believe me, for 90% of the times it is a pain to attend those seminars, which are boring and humdrum to the core. Since it’s a compulsion, the hall is packed with CAs aged from 21 yrs to 61 yrs, with most of the professionals dressed in white – grey kind of formals. They can’t let go the formal tag even on Sundays. This is so un-cool.

I also unwillingly spoil my Sunday morning sleep and go there at 9.00. I feel it’s criminal to get up so early on Sunday. I always reach late, and I’m always in casuals, bright coloured t-shirt, jeans and sport shoes. No bag, no pen, sometime I carry newspaper to pass my time. As I enter, the seniors in the profession glare at me, with a taunting look. I also express my “who cares” attitude. The only good thing about the seminar is the free morning breakfast, but still it’s not worth my morning sleep.

This Sunday also I along with my friends went for the seminar, however, the seminar was scheduled on Saturday. It was so horrible; we spoiled our morning sleep and came all the way. But it was mistake on our part for not checking the meeting schedule.

What to do was the next question! After coming all the way to Andheri, going back home was the last resort. We decided for watching back-to-back movie, morning shows. I’m a movie freak anyways.

We went for the morning 11.00 show of ”White Noise” at Fun republic, starring Rahul Bose. The movie was not upto my expectations. These guys are making scrap in the name of “Conventional” cinema. Then we rushed to 24 Carat at Jogeshwari, for ”Socha na tha”. We reached 20 min late, but there was a scheme for morning show, buy one ticket and get one free. Any thing for a free movie ticket ;-) The movie is cool time pass fun movie.

So it was my second consecutive Sunday with back-to-back 2 movies. I love it. I suggested for another movie at 4 PM at Fame Adlabs, and almost got kicked out.

Thankfully I was not in formals, its so yaks to watch a movie in formal dressing on a Sunday.

Left-brain vs. Right brain

My friend forwarded this to me and I tried. It’s really strange. You can try it;
While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles now, while doing this, draw the number "6"in the air with your right hand finger.

Your foot will change directions (anticlockwise) and there is nothing you can do about it.

Whom should we follow?

Laziness is the worst enemy of humans. . .
- Jawaharlal Nehru

Humans should learn to love even their worst enemies...!!!
- Mahatma Gandhi

Getting home early…

Yesterday was one of those rarest days when I left and reached home in daylight. No its not because summer is back and the day is longer; its just one of those god’s gifted days.

It was just 7 PM when I reached home. My parents got a shock to see me so early. My dad got worried that whether I quit the job and came. They are not used to see me at home before 9.00 PM.

As I was leaving for the day, all my colleagues started looking at their watch. They started enquiring if all is fine! What happened to you today?
I said – I’m taking half day ;-)

When I started my bike, I’m so used to switching on the headlight that my fingers automatically pushed the button. I realised I need not use the headlights. It happens!

I remember, one day, when I parked my bike at my building at 9 PM, the watchman said,
“Saab, aaj jaldi aa gaye” (You came early today).
I could just smile. When I told this at home, everyone had a nice laugh.

When the workload is not much and boss in on leave then the opportunity is not to be missed. Hope to have more of such days in future. (Dare to dream they do come true).

As they rightly say, “When the cat is away mice can play” ;-)

Bumper – One Liners

You must have noticed the one-liners behind the trucks. They are hilarious. Yesterday evening while returning home, I read one that said,
“Bade logo ki zindagi main biscut aur cake, Driver ki zindagi main accelerator aur brake”.
Gosh! What a comparison.

Now a days a lot of rickshaw wala over here are carrying a liner “mulgi shikli, pragati zali” (it means, girl got educated means progress has happened). I guess they understand what it truly means.

But truck liners are the best fun.
When I’m struck in a traffic jam, I thank these guys for providing some smiles.

If you wanna read some cool one liners, click the link below:
Cool One Liners

Some of my favs are:
Are you having phone sex, or do you always drive that way?
Hey You Butt Sniffing Pervert... BACK OFF!!!
You're the reason God created the middle finger.

Thru with Boards

Yesterday evening, I was with my friend at a food joint in my colony. We saw lots of youngsters loitering around, so relaxed and so chilled out. It was the crowd of, who were through with their 12th boards yesterday. One could feel their happiness by watching them, enjoying as if there is no tomorrow. I envied them a lot during that moment.

I could recollect my days in flash of a moment. I still remember each hour of the day when I completed my 10th and 12th Boards. So happy and relaxed as if I have won a battle. But today winning battles also doesn’t make one happy, we are worried about who’s gonna win the war.

Vacation is term I had almost forgotten, existed. 2-3 months of complete fun, no studies, no work. I used to go home only to have my food and sleep. (Actually I do that now also, but there is a hell difference). Those days were heaven, and I used to think earning and being on your own is heaven. The other side of the field always look greener ;-)

For a moment atleast, those guys brought my teen days back. But no regrets, I had my share of cake too.

Freaking on movies

After a very hectic and tiring week the weekend was the welcome change. I fortunately made the most of it. Freaking out on movies is something, which I like a lot. I saw 3 movies this weekend.

First to watch was ”Karam”, John Ibrahim and Priyanka Chopra starrer action movie, which is not worth the theatre. When will these guys stop making typical Hindi movies with lots of “dishum dishum”, and when will I stop watching such scarps. (Grow Up, not me but the directors). The only good part was the Song “Tinka Tinka” by Priyanka Chopra in a back less dress; I thought I would get to see some more of such songs (I mean dresses) but was thoroughly disappointed.

The other two I saw on Sunday were treats to watch. I rushed for the morning show at I-max to watch ”Meet the Fockers”. It was mind-blowing guys!!! It’s too good of a comedy. Must watch.

Next to watch was the afternoon show of ”Black”. Hats off to Sanjay Leela Bhansali, you need guts and a true heart to make that movie. Out of the world.

I do watch a lot of movies, and my colleague, rather than asking me, how was the weekend asks “Which movie you saw”. I really wish to watch 4 movies in a day, back to back, in a theatre of course. I will definitely do that one-day.

Rest of the time when I was at home I spend it with playing computer games. I love that too. I played “The Age of Empires”. It’s a nice game where one has to develop his own civilization and destroy the enemies. It relates to the old age era. But it’s a very long game; you need to have lots of waste time for that. When your girl friend is not in the same city then you get time for all such things too.

As after every week there comes a weekend and so does after every Sunday there comes a Monday. I mean after every “khushi” there is a “gam”.
Hope to have a good week ahead.

BEST on strike

BEST buses that serve as a lifeline for thousands of commuters in Mumbai went on strike today. When I got to know about it, I was happy that there would be less traffic on roads. As far as my selfish interest is concerned, I’m least bothered if BEST buses are running or not except for the traffic they create on roads.

But unfortunately my happiness was short lived. After riding for 3-4 Kms I got immense traffic. There were lot of four wheelers on road. The areas where there wasn’t used to be traffic also seemed to be very busy. Through out my way the roads were busy.

The consequences of the strike to “aam janta” are:
Children were dropped to schools by their parents; the husbands escorted the wives, 3-4 people went together in the car. Private busses and ST busses took the advantage of this opportunity and started offering commuting services. Auto rickshaws and taxis would have done good business. Local trains are going jam-packed.

It creates Havoc.

It’s really sad for a lot of people who don’t have an economical alternative than BEST busses. I’m sure the evening will be horrible for the commuters.

It’s not easy to match or substitute the organised and in line network and services of BEST.

Working Late Hours

Some normal office conversations, which happen every evening:
Oh a long day today!
What’s new in it?

Working late?
Ya, as always.

But what is meant by late? Is it 8’O Clock in the evening or 11 in the night?

Everyone has, his or her own parameters. Some are lucky enough to get away with 9 to 5 kind of work timings whereas for others 9 to 5 is a dream, which is only on records.

It has become a culture in the corporate world to work late. I exclude BPOs and Call centre from my mention, as those guys are the luckiest to work only 8 hours and still get a home drop and pick up. Government Organisations are also strictly excluded, as “working late hours” is a term stranger to them.

But the question is, is there a need to work late?
The common word is - The workload is not enough to be managed in a day’s time.

How genuine it is? I can classify excessive workload into 2 categories:

I. Excessive workload due to circumstances beyond your control.
II. Excessive workload due to circumstances within your control.

I incline to ignore those exceptional days where workload is excessive due to statutory deadlines or such similar causes beyond the control of the organisation, but for which, there was awareness from the beginning.

I. Circumstances beyond your control for working late:
1. Due to work miss-management from the superiors and the big-bosses.
2. Due to improper or vague instructions given to you, on how to execute the work.
3. No proper systems in place.
4. Due to “new born” deadline today morning, which was non-existent till yesterday. (At least you didn’t even had a clue about it)
5. Taking care of someone else’s work, who would have gone on CL, SL or PL (or anywhere but not working).
6. No sufficient staffing to cater the workload.
7. Just because your boss is working late and he doesn’t like you leaving before him.
8. Rectification of superior’s previous wrong delegation or wrong direction.
9. Too many people to report to.
10. The persons monitoring you or your superiors have no work but to put pressure on you.
11. No appropriate training before commencement of work.

Criterions fitting the second category are:
II. Circumstances within your control.
1. Your inefficiency to perform the work in time.
2. Excessive wastage of time during lunch hours, more occasional tea breaks, chatting while working, excessive surfing of Internet in office and long personal chats on official phone.
3. Clearing the backlog created by your CL, SL or PL (by whatever name you call).
4. Lack of motivation to perform the duty.
5. No proper planning on how to begin and conclude the work.
6. Rectification of your own wrongly done work.
7. Not following standard process or technique to perform work, if there exists any.
8. Unnecessary gossiping during the work hours.
9. Not working during proper work hours and purposely sitting late to show off.

These are some reasons, which I could pen down. If you can list more reasons then please mention them in the comments.

Before that, where do you fall most of the time?

I’m also one of the unlucky ones who sit late in the office and work.
If I analyse the reasons for it, on an average I can say, 60% of the times Category 1, 15% of the times Category 2, and 20% of the times due to statutory or such similar deadlines.
Balance 5% of the times I go on time ;-)

I would be happy if you will mention your percentage too.

If you are in office then get back to work or your percentage in Category 2 will increase.

Gambling on roads

It was the friday morning and I was on my way to office. For a change I was not on my bike. I was in Sion, walking on the footpath when a stranger asked me for the pen and i offered him. There was a person sitting down with a small briefcase and 3 cards on it. There was a small crowd gathering him and playing the game.

These kind of games are often shown in hindi movies, its a kind of gamble. I was least concerned with what was happening. A person was getting very friendly with me and tried many times to pull my attention towards the game. I was continuously ignoring him but by some or the other way he kept on saying something.

The guy who took my pen was taking quite a lot of time and i found something fishy.
As soon as i took my pen back, the guy who was getting friendly with me announces, that the money was from my side. I didnt knew what happened. I said i'm not playing any game and i'm not gonna pay anything.

He said you dont have to pay, you will be receiving Rs.1,000. I could smell something very strange. I refused to accept the money but he immediately puts a 500 rupee note in my pocket. Some people around said I should be given full money, so the guy who was incharge of the game handed over me 5 notes of Rs.100/-

I lost my cool and I shouted I dont want a single money, its not mine.

There were 5-6 people around, everyone insisting me to take the money.
They kept on saying things like
"the money was in your name dont say no" (paise par tera naam tha)
"don't say no to money in the morning" (subah suhabh lakshmi ko mana nahin karte)
"you shouldnt say no to money coming in your hand" (hath main aaye paise ko mana nahin karte)
"if u dont want give it to some poor fellow" (tujhe nahin chahiye to gareeb main baat de)
the guy who was in charge of the game said, "i know you want the money, keep it".

All this was happening so fast and in such a planned manner that I was shocked.
Thankfully I neither accepted the money nor showed any signs of accepting it.

The guy who gave me the money told that "you just have to show your money and take away this 1000 rupees"
(apne jaib ka paisa dikha kar, ye hazar rupaye le ja)

I finally shouted, "take back this money or i'm throwing and going".
The other guy finally took back the money and i left that place in no time.

Do you think I did the right, do you think that i was destined to get Rs.1000 from a stranger but I refused.

I feel what I did was perfectly correct. I just got saved from what could have been a really horrible trap.
No guy will hand over you money just for no reason.

They have got a simple modus operandi, they just make people stop there. They did to me by asking for the pen. Then they try to involve you, as that guy tried. Then they will tell you, you have won some handsome amount.
If you dont accept the money then the people around you will try to change your decision. (these so called public are very much a part of their squad). And if you accept it or show any sign of accepting then god knows what will be their next step. Definitely in some or the other way they will try to snatch your money.

As I came to the bus stop, one uncle told me dont play that game, those guys are horrible. I explained him that I was not playing the game, they made me stop by asking for my pen.

As they rightly say in corporate world "There is no free lunch".

I feel lucky to be out of it. Either they weren't smart enuough to bluff me or my stars were too strong.
But guys beware of such people. They are dangerous.

Dream team delivers the dream

For those who are not into much of finance and tax, I’m not talking about Saurav Ganguly’s team, that hardly delivers.

“He’s the man of a Thousand Faces, the chameleon who turns pink when facing the Left front, develops blue pinstripes when facing businessmen and turns dehati when facing Villagers. He has one face for women, another for senior citizens, yet another for foreign investors”.
- The Economic Times – 1st March 2005

Ya, the above praise was for our finance minister P. Chidambaram on his BUDGET Proposal 2005-06

Although you might be familiar with most of the proposals, let me put some light on a few of those, which will impact an individual.

To start with, the tax rates have been revised.
· The minimum limit for tax has been raised to Rs. 100,000.
· More cheers for women as the minimum limit for them is Rs. 125,000 and for senior citizen it is Rs. 150,000.
· Education cess of 2% introduced last year has been continued.
· Surcharge of 10% which was earlier on income above Rs.8,50,000 is applicable now on income above Rs.10,00,000.

The rate comparison for Individuals


For all the different categories of income there is a positive value in the column - tax savings, which means higher disposable income for individuals.
(In short, you can shop more and expend more).

Cleaning up deductions and rebates section:
One section provides for tax and several others on how to save tax. Through this budget there is an attempt to clean up some of the complexities.

There is a small hit for the salaried class since Standard deduction is withdrawn with effect from April 01, 2006. But the net effect is still positive.

The Section 88 dealing with rebate has been removed.
So is Section 88B (Rebate for senior citizen) and Section 88C (Rebate for Women).
Remember, women and senior citizens are compensated by the increase in tax slabs. But I feel the pinch and gain here is not the same for all.

Rebate under Section 88B was Rs. 10,000 and now additional tax exemption is upto 1,50,000 for senior citizens, which implies a minimum benefit of Rs. 5,000 only. But it would be advantageous for those who are coming under higher tax bracket. Similar would be the case for women taxpayer too.

New Section 80C is inserted to take care of the investments which were earlier taken care by Section 88. I feel this new section will help the “aam aadmi” more than the old Section 88.

Section 80C will provide deduction for specified investments such as
a Life Insurance premium
a PF or / and PPF contribution
a Contribution towards NSC
a Purchase of infrastructure bonds
a Repayment of principal amount of housing loan
a Contribution to ULIP UTI plan and ULIP plan of LIC mutual fund
a Payment towards notified annuity plan of LIC
a Specified schemes of mutual funds
a Contribution to approved superannuation fund

Overall deduction is limited to Rs.1,00,000 (including 80C, 80CCC & 80CCD (Contribution to pension funds).

Considering Net tax savings for individuals, Section 80C brings more smiles than erstwhile Section 88. Although the taxpayer will have to plan harder to ensure maximum benefits on the tax front.

For all those who don’t want to think hard, don’t worry, there are Chartered Accountants to cater your needs.

Other smiles from the Budget are:
a) Pastries, cakes get cheaper. (My GF should not know this)
b) Surcharge on tea is done away. (My Admin guy should know this)
c) Excise duty on Vanaspati and vegetable oil is also cut. (Some relief for my mom)
d) Clothes get cheaper. (Don’t be surprised to see me shopping for my GF)
e) Exice duty on AC and tyres go down from 24% to 16%.
f) Imported second hand cars to cost less (I wish I had a mama in Dubai)
g) Medicines to get cheaper. (I can afford to fall sick now, anyways I have enough sick leave balance left)
h) Lots more guys… these were just a few to list.


The second side of the coin:
a) Cash withdrawal above Rs.10,000 per day to attract tax @10%. The intention might be to check the black money, but is definitely not a welcome move. Will be an administrative nightmare for banks.
b) Pay more for poison I mean, cigarettes, liquor, pan masala and gutka. Bidis exempt. (None is of my interest and likings, so I’m indifferent to this provision).
c) Your perks will get dearer with new tax on employers. In Tax terminology these perks are called Fringe benefits. (My company doesn’t give me any).
d) A rise in the securities transaction tax will make your stock market transaction more expensive. (This will pinch my small gains on stock market, shopping cancel).
e) Guys… there are more under this category also, but at times ignorance is bliss ;-)


These were some of the budget proposals along with my personal comments.
Hope this enlightened your knowledge to some extent atleast.